Off the eastern shores...

It’s one of those places I travel to often.  But it’s not what you think.





It’s a graveyard, but it’s for weapons.  Lost, abandoned, destroyed, forgotten… weapons.  I save them, in a manner of speaking, bringing them here where they can rest and be whole again.  I brought with me a sword rusted both scabbard and blade, which under the touch of any but its chosen would remain so.   Also it only comes out when it deems it necessary.  I drew the blade, rusted yet whole, then sheathed it again.  The rusty edge would respond to my need but I had none, so I had saved it from its tomb of earth. Sikanda, a blade that only showed its true colors and figure when it so desired, but it had no need to shine now or probably ever again.  An axe without a name, a half moon blade on one side and a wicked metal spike on the other I carried with me this day as well, retrieved from a tree it was embedded in, clean through to the center of its spike.

So many weapons, so many lifetimes, so many stories buried here.  I laid those 2 and more to rest so they would never be forgotten.  It’s strange to think these weapons one and all have tales to tell, stories of how they lived in a manner of speaking.  Stories of how they died and came into my possession to be saved and brought here, to this bizarre graveyard.  After putting the rest of my burden to… well rest, I carried the final one to its special resting place.  This particular weapon was not one of a kind, but rather one of many scores of kindred weapons.

It was a stick of sorts, but also it was a sword.  I held it aloft giving the broken stick a good quick twirl, letting it reforge in the cold night air. It wasn’t long but on the other hand it was a decent blade even though it was carved from wood before glimmering into a firm metallic alloy.  The truth behind this stick, well that’s a tale for a different time.  





After a few quick passes I held it up inspecting it, as the metal glimmered for a moment before reverting to the wood from which it came.  I laid it down beside a massive tree deep in the weapon graveyard where it would soon rejoin its brethren shillelaghs, all once the property of a single being…


He woke up with a terrible start.  That had been the strangest dream he had ever had.  Some guy had been carrying his latest broken shillelagh, and the thing that made it truly strange was he seemed familiar somehow, as though he was an old acquaintance from years long passed.  Regardless of his dream he had dressed in a nice pair of casual clothes and set off for his vacation.





He had booked himself passage on an exotic foods cruise ship.  It did seem a bit sketchy at first glance, with how little information was available but so far after a week at sea with a number of ports of call to small islands along the way it had been a rather pleasant distraction from everything else going on in his life of late.  Not the least of which had been his return trip home yet again, like that weird dream had pointed out to endure the process of making another shillelagh.  Irony of ironies he had made a tree's worth of the blasted things, and what was more a tree of ancient size and proportions too.  But he was pretty sure that was just a dream, another sick and twisted punishment for a childish mistake merited out by his father many years prior.

The waters were crystalline, but he was more interested at the moment of the waters in his suite.  The gentle misting of a hot shower and the pair of legs draped over the side of the slowly filling tub he had exclusive use of.  

“Spend your whores wisely.”

He muttered to himself as he threw off the latest pair of atrocities he had been wearing.  Something called Skippy Shorts (Bermuda shorts).  





A terrible design of stiff legged shorts, with no give anywhere, that he had altered for at least a little comfort.  But it was a mandatory part of the Cruise package.  You had to wear Skippy Shorts the whole time, unless of course you were butt ass, and butt ass naked was how he walked across his suite to its private bathroom.  It had a grand view out the stern of the ship, you could see everything it left behind.

It’s name was The Lunch Boat, an all too ironic name seeing as it was an exotic foods cruise liner.  And he didn’t really care for the name, or the exotic foods that had been procured for the passengers so far, but it was still early in the cruise and they had promised the best meal possible upon their return to port when all was said and done.  A sampling of the grand feast that would await their final day of the voyage.





Oh that dangling leg was just waiting to be fondled, but she wasn’t exactly on the cruise line’s menu.  Then again whores never are he thought as he walked slowly into the luxurious bathroom, passing the tub and the water misting everywhere.  The entire room was waterproofed, wet, and getting wetter by the moment.  Designed to be used with reckless abandon like a waterpark with a grand view of… more water.

He stood before the stern windows, floor to ceiling staring out into the early hours of the night.  As the moon rose, he watched there was little to do before they made landfall again.  Eat, sleep, screw the hired help six ways from Slutty Bunny Sunday, although it was actually Tramp Stamp Tuesday but that’s all semantics with nothing to do between landfalls.  He was hoping there would be more entertainment on the next island.  The last one only had a dozen or so inhabitants and they were all belly dancers, giant eel shaped belly dancers.  Not very good whores he thought, maybe he would pay the cruise liner to stop on their way to port and offer to pay one of them to sleep with his brother when they reached port.   It had been far too long since he last teased his brother. Not since that last war when he won the bet between them, and he had made his brother…

There was a slight pouting sound coming from the legs draped over the edge of the tub, it caught him off guard for a moment as he continued to stare out the stern windows.  She was starting to get whiny and pouty about being left to soak on her own.

"Ha...." Sighed the redhead in the tub, cracking her neck as she cast her grey blue eyes his direction. "C'mon.... I only 'ave an hour or so till me break's up, darlin~" sighed the woman. She had a double streak of black in her bangs, her crimson hair in a bun at the moment. She was a tall, pale creature. Half submerged in the piping hot water, her breasts buoyant and buoy like in the water; her long, sexy legs draped over the side as she glares at him with a playful, inviting smirk~



She was a Leprechaun, like him. Her name? It didn't matter... but for the sake of argument, it was Francine, or Frankie. She 'worked' for the Lunch Boat, sorta...

"Aren't ya gonna join me, love?" She purred like a pussy cat, reaching out with one long, sexy leg and tapped the back of his leg with her toes. "The bath's gettin' cold~"

He turned around catching her wet slippery leg with one hand, stooping just far enough to do so without too much movement.  He was the leprechaun, but not like her… and no folks that’s not a typo.  But that’s a spoiler for another time, somewhere further down the rabbit hole…   And  that would have been a great segway into sexy with a bun bun bunny girl, but alas it’s still only Tramp Stamp Tuesday.  And you can bet there is a tramp stamp or two floating around his suite at some point.

Tracing the fingers of his other hand up… err down her leg, back toward the water and her ink and wet wetness… all this double talk, highly unnecessary.  His fingers only just grazing the wet silky skin as he lifted up ever so slightly on her leg as he neared the tub’s water with his hand.  She slid little by little further under the water till only her head poked out as his hand slid up her sides across her chest and then gently tangled it into her hair.

He pushed her under a good foot then let go, turning away once again to look out the stern’s floor to ceiling windows.

“Seriously who talks to their God like that!”

Crisis Rocan wrote:He turned around catching her wet slippery leg with one hand, stooping just far enough to do so without too much movement.  He was the leprechaun, but not like her… and no folks that’s not a typo.  But that’s a spoiler for another time, somewhere further down the rabbit hole…   And  that would have been a great segway into sexy with a bun bun bunny girl, but alas it’s still only Tramp Stamp Tuesday.  And you can bet there is a tramp stamp or two floating around his suite at some point.

Tracing the fingers of his other hand up… err down her leg, back toward the water and her ink and wet wetness… all this double talk, highly unnecessary.  His fingers only just grazing the wet silky skin as he lifted up ever so slightly on her leg as he neared the tub’s water with his hand.  She slid little by little further under the water till only her head poked out as his hand slid up her sides across her chest and then gently tangled it into her hair.

He pushed her under a good foot then let go, turning away once again to look out the stern’s floor to ceiling windows.

“Seriously who talks to their God like that!”

Frankie purred as she teased the 'man' into the tub. She flustered as his hand slid up her leg, across the side of her chest, then atop her head. "Uhhhn~" She moaned, closing her eyes before being dunked under the water! However, whereas 'normal' people would have freaked out, her squirming was from being absolutely giddy! Once she was allowed to surface, she did so, gasping for air but blushing deeply. "Haaaah! Oooh, but you love it! It's why ya paid me extra~" She winked, lunging at him from the surface, arms loosely draping around his shoulders as her naked bosom flattened against his back. She hooked her chin against his shoulder, like a second head sprouting from his neck, as she looked over to the scowling man with a playful and teasing smirk. "What's wrong love? Why ya so gloomy?" She purred, continuing to flatten herself against his back.

LUCIUS!  He was thinking about Lucius again, his twin brother, and it was grating on his nerves, although he more often than not got the upperhand in their back and forth bets.  After all his brother was round eared now and for better or worse stuck with his current lot in life, he just couldn’t let it slide from his mind that his brother had without a doubt gotten the best of him even with less wins in their game.

A wet slippery body squeezed up to his backside. Soft jiggly breasts slowly flattening against his back arms lazily draping over his shoulders as her equally wet chin settles on his shoulder.  Her wet hair flopping hither and thither as she turns her head to gaze at him.  His scowl only deepens, as he thinks about throwing her through the glass panes into the ocean beyond.

His scowl and the thoughts of his brother’s last win, deepen the scowl across his entire face and body as he tenses up.  His right hand and arm slipping between his body and her’s settling between her legs as he growls quietly.  Lucius had won that last bet, but he didn’t capitalize on it in a way that could have been foreseen.  Instead of doing something grand or outrageous the twerp got even as he put it for his lost ears.  

He stripped his manhood of being productive.  Well reproductive to be exact curse you Lucius he thought.  With ease he lifted her up off the ground one handed and brought her around pressing her up against the glass window pane.

“I’m sure I paid you for more than just this!”

He growled into her ear as he cupped both of her breasts keeping her feet off the floor, while sliding up between her legs from behind.  He pressed into her back squeezing her against the glass window for the entire empty ocean to watch the look on her face as he took what he paid for with all of his skill.

"Hehe~oooh!" Frankie went from a flirtatious giggle to an aroused gasp as the man shifted her around him in a rough and confusing manner that she didn't know her right from left till she was pressed up against the tempered glass of the window looking out to the vast blue-grey ocean!



"Oh~" She moaned, feeling his fingers sink into her breasts, cupping them as he proceeded to ram her in the ass! "Haaah~" Frankie cooed, feeling him tearing into her like that! Then that growl into her ear!

"Mmmm... yes, Daddy, Frankie was a good lil girl~" Moaned Frankie, as she clicked her fingers, producing a black card key in her right hand as he continued to pierce her from behind. Her tight, moist interior was incredibly warm and put up a modest effort to slow the pace of his length slipping in and out of her. She hovered the key between his face, for his teeth to catch as his hands were busy squeezing her gelatinous tits. "...Hah... got this... off the Head Chef... haah..." She moaned, enjoying the view of the sea all the while. "Should... let you... into the Lunch Room... haah... He's prob-prob... dang that's really in there, phew, probably losing his head over missing this key! I could be fired if they find out, love~!" She chuckled playfully between erotic gasps.

"Ahhh... hah... the only thing that make this better is if you were forcing me down the mouth of some Gods-awful ugly ass monster's mouth! Yeah, force feedin' it with me body! Oooh, that really set me off! It be a grand time!" She moaned, slamming the window as the man aggressively pounded her!

That’s right I’m your…. Wait what?  He thought as she called him daddy for approximately 13.7 half seconds, as she waved the keycard slowly in front of his lips.  He tried twice to get a hold of it before ramming her so hard on his next thrust her legs spread further apart.  But it worked as he just barely got a corner of his lips around the side of the card, nipping her fingers for good measure with his teeth before tilting his head back and moving the card around in his mouth with his tongue for a better look.

Yes this was definitely the right card he thought, I should probably reward her for this.  As he thrust harder and deeper, thickening up with every stiff burst of force.  It might have felt like a jackhammer, he didn’t know, but he did know one thing for certain he wasn’t thrusting harder and faster because he wanted to,  He was pounding her deeper and deeper like a madman because it felt good.  He wasn’t plunging all the way in until his short hairs were getting wet too…

Because he wanted too…
























































He was stuck!


So he kept trying harder and harder to get off but it wasn’t working, he just wouldn’t get off and shoot his last hurrah into her ass and let her slump down all worn out and spent.  Oh no he couldn’t slide out of her no matter how much he tried to loosen her up enough to be free, and everything thrust was driving him nuts.  Making it harder and harder, oh yeah and harder to slide out.

Growling deeply and not out of pleasure he swore before roaring out loud.

“GODS DAMMIT I’M LUCIEN BARTHOLOMEW LOCKHEED”!

There was just a brief moment when he realized just what was going to happen next.

Thunder peeled deafeningly loud into the air all around, inside and out of the cruise ship.  Then as if on cue the loudest maniacal laughter pierced through the sound of the thunder.  In its wake a slight tinkling sound could be heard as though far away, but it wasn’t very far away, and it wasn’t a slight tinkling sound.  It was a roaring sound all in its own right.  The sound of glass shattering from the force of impact.

He watched only slightly in horror, but more in mild amusement as he thought… She was short, sweet, and shot out the window…  Whelp at least now I can get into that Lunch Room and maybe find a decent meal.

“Oh well another wisely spent whore.”

He didn’t bother glancing back as he turned away from the window, the lower deck would break her fall, so he didn’t feel too bad about not catching her.  Besides he had a Lunch Room to investigate.

"I thought... haah... you'd be hungry~" She cooed, as he continued to ram her with his natural shillelagh. The feeling of him inside her made her pink, her tight walls gripping his wide girth as she moaned with ecstasy.

"Ohhhh yes, harder daddy~ Harder <3" Frankie moaned, squirming with absolute pleasure as he got vigorous with his cock...! Just unaware, he was now firmly locked inside her, and was quietly freaking out behind her! Blinded by pleasure to be aware of his panic she could only coo and moan erotically as he tried his best to pull himself out of her! Then, all of a sudden:

Crisis Rocan wrote:“GODS DAMMIT I’M LUCIEN BARTHOLOMEW LOCKHEED”!

The height of the climax, Frankie let out a low, warbly moan as it felt like she was launched like a rocket! The glass even seemed to have broken away from reality as she felt like she was soaring into the cool, salty wind!

-THUD!

---

A fifty or so foot drop, absolutely lethal heights for a human but for a Leprechaun? It'd take more than that to outright kill one. Besides, she didn't hit the lower deck entirely. Her own Shillelagh came to her rescue. A large body pillow sized stuffed shark with wooden button eyes painted black swooped in and caught her before she could feel the deck at terminal velocity! The tail curled around her slender frame as she lay there gasping, sweating, cumming and bleeding from multiple glass lacerations. "Oh... I think I'm in love, Sersh!" She squeezed the stuffed animal tight; the animal looked less enthused as it curled its wide tail around Frankie's ass and scooted her away before prying eyes could have a free show for themselves...

---

The cuts and lacerations went away rather quickly thanks to the healing regenerative abilities of the Leprechaun with her Shillelagh, Sersh. Frankie looked right as rain again, and she was back inside Lucien's Cabin changing back into her uniform.

"Dang, it feels tighter on me hips fer some reason, Sershy~" Cooed Frankie, who was speaking of her skirt:



She clapped the cheeks of her ass, wiggling and adjusting the skirt before fixing her blouse. She didn't see the man in question around, but she had an idea of where he may be...

---

As Lucien was making his way towards the eponymous 'Lunch Room' he was suddenly forced down on his back!

"Hehe, think ya can get rid of me that easy, love?" Purred Frankie who now straddled the lean, tan, handsome Leppy beneathe her, even if the 'skippy shorts' looked dumb, he at leas knew how to rock them-



-hard. Rock solid hard against her thigh, hard. Frankie's cocktail waitress attire was still a little in disarray, her blouse was not fully buttoned up so one could see her cleavage and her short leather skirt hiked up showing off her black lace thong and much of her fishnetting. "Ya forgot to give me a kiss, boyo~ How rude!" She teased the much more powerful Leprechaun beneath her. She was in love though~

Gods, even they get flustered depending on the circumstances.  He was caught off guard as he was dragged off his feet, literally she was throwing him off balance.  Whores?  Is he right?  Anyway she pulled him off balance, and it was really his own fault, for letting his guard down so much.  

He couldn’t exactly help himself, something felt wrong about this whole cruise ship deal to begin with.   Though he could place what it was that was bugging him about it.  Either way he had slightly more pressing matter to get off his chest as it were.  More accurately to get off his hips and thighs.  

Rhino cock!

I don;t know, I just had to say that last bit for no real reason.  Although a certain horny Leppy might have a comparison for rhino cock in mind, or in hand, or inside.  Any which way she sees it, sorry feels, Lucien was annoyed even more, and not because she pinned him to the ground, but rather that he slipped up and let her in the first place.  

“Boyo… how Rude!”

Sigh, Lucien rolled his eyes as he lay there.  Putting one hand up straightening out her blouse he spoke.

“One doesn’t not simply kiss…”

But she tried to wiggle down passed his hand, which slipped between her revealed breast, he sighed again gently knocking his head against the floor.  Pushing her back he straightened her blouse out and buttoned it up while keeping her at arms length.  But she was determined to get a kiss trying to wiggle and squirm into his arms as he straightened her clothes out.

Lifting her  off her he sat up and stood placing her on her feet.  Wrapping one arm around her to keep her head just out of reach on getting what she wanted, he used his other hand to fix her skirt,  

“If you can’t whore properly…”

She cut him off trying to get her lips on his, but he pulled back, swatting her ass enough to send her a few stuttering steps forward.  Sighing in exasperation.

“Fine if you want a kiss that badly…”

He turned her around and swatted her ass even harder making her stutter step away from him as he turned walking in the opposite direction.

“You can kiss my ass as I walk away.”

Crisis Rocan wrote:


Gods, even they get flustered depending on the circumstances.  He was caught off guard as he was dragged off his feet, literally she was throwing him off balance.  Whores?  Is he right?  Anyway she pulled him off balance, and it was really his own fault, for letting his guard down so much.  

He couldn’t exactly help himself, something felt wrong about this whole cruise ship deal to begin with.   Though he could place what it was that was bugging him about it.  Either way he had slightly more pressing matter to get off his chest as it were.  More accurately to get off his hips and thighs.  

Rhino cock!

I don;t know, I just had to say that last bit for no real reason.  Although a certain horny Leppy might have a comparison for rhino cock in mind, or in hand, or inside.  Any which way she sees it, sorry feels, Lucien was annoyed even more, and not because she pinned him to the ground, but rather that he slipped up and let her in the first place.  

“Boyo… how Rude!”

Sigh, Lucien rolled his eyes as he lay there.  Putting one hand up straightening out her blouse he spoke.

“One doesn’t not simply kiss…”

But she tried to wiggle down passed his hand, which slipped between her revealed breast, he sighed again gently knocking his head against the floor.  Pushing her back he straightened her blouse out and buttoned it up while keeping her at arms length.  But she was determined to get a kiss trying to wiggle and squirm into his arms as he straightened her clothes out.

Lifting her  off her he sat up and stood placing her on her feet.  Wrapping one arm around her to keep her head just out of reach on getting what she wanted, he used his other hand to fix her skirt,  

“If you can’t whore properly…”

She cut him off trying to get her lips on his, but he pulled back, swatting her ass enough to send her a few stuttering steps forward.  Sighing in exasperation.

“Fine if you want a kiss that badly…”

He turned her around and swatted her ass even harder making her stutter step away from him as he turned walking in the opposite direction.

“You can kiss my ass as I walk away.”

"Oooh~ OOhh~!" came exotic protest from Frankie who was being squeezed, poked and prodded as Lucien fixed her up while all the while keeping her from kissing him! He even spanked her a couple of times to emphasize the point!



She stood there, hand on her cheek, blushing as she watched him walk off. "Deary me, I would be inclined... but even those Skips yer wearin' look great on ya, I wouldn't want to put me lips on them! I was told they're washed and reused and made of some sort of durable cloth that even acid nor fire can break down~" She replied, before hopping over to him, slipping an arm around his neck and pushed her chest against his left shoulder. "When you hired me to 'ave a look around this cruise to see why it makes so much bank in spite of it bein' such an engima, I didn't think ye'd be 'ansom as ye'd turn out to be! I'm used to workin' fer old men or pampered children, so really this was a nice change of pace!" chuckled the industrial spy/waitress/...whatever, whore? Sure, for Lucien she'd be all of those and more!

But he is an old man, a really really really old man, and a spoiled fucking brat err pampered child.  Talk about irony, if only she knew….

Wink wink, spoilers just not now.  Lucien stopped only long enough for her to saddle up to his side.

“I was going to burn them too.”

Disappointed but not dissuaded from his eventual goal of destroying the hideous Skippy Shorts.  Thinking he would love nothing more than to kill the guy who came up with the whole idea for Skippy Shorts being mandatory wear as part of the cruise liner he continued on his way toward his eventual destination.  

“I’m sure you have other work to see to before we reach the next island on this little trip.”

He stopped for a moment and turned pulling her around to look her in the eyes.  

“Be a good girl and run along before someone thinks to come looking.”

He gave her a good long kiss….  Wait wait hold on a moment.  I have to back up just a moment here and explain something about Lucien.  Now as many are aware his brother Lucius has a unique magic, light based, and they are albeit completely different in look and appearance after all maternal identical twins.  Spoilers, but for the moment let us have a sample of Lucien’s unique magic.  Time!

Faster, slower, skip, stop, rewind, he can manipulate it all ways.  There is a reason he continually has to remake his Shillelagh, it isn’t strong enough to use as a focus for even a fraction of his full magically prowess.  He detest having to using his Shillelagh as a foci for his magics, but from time to time and that happens often enough he breaks his Shillelagh in the effort to control the full force of his magic.

Which is highly ironic, because his brother has no need of a Shillelagh to use his magic, spoilers I know.  Anyway, that being explained, the very moment he finished speaking he stopped time on the ship and kissed his poppet without her knowing it, and walked away from her.  To her it was but a blink of the eye, in fact the entire ship hadn’t noticed the time lapse, except perhaps the helmsman who would find the island much sooner than he should have.

And while the ship seemed to be moving at regular speed to all of its occupants Lucien was moving outside of time as he pursued his private investigation into the matter of the Lunch Boat’s anonymous financial backers and origins, from the inside out!

And his twisted little sidekick, well... as far as she knew he just poofed and vanished here one second, close enough to kiss, and gone within the blink of a kiss expecting eye.

"Hehe, you could always send them to someone you hate~" She offered with a wink as he spoke of her 'other duties'. "Right, the casino can't run without me delivering drinks to victors and losers alike." She yawned, before she suddenly was pulled to attention. He looked her in the eyes with an intimidating glare for most, but to Frankie it allowed her to see his big blue eyes for all they were!

“Be a good girl and run along before someone thinks to come looking.”

She smiled, cupping his cheek. "I can cum just lookin' at you, darlin'~" Frankie winked, before giggling. Then she felt something warm and inviting on her lips, if only just briefly or not... it felt like it was there for a while as her lips were still warm when she touched them; because the moment she had reopened her eyes from blinking he was gone but his touch still lingered! "Huh? Lucien? Oi, where you at?" She called out, looking around. "...That was odd. Cheeky bastard~" she giggled, flustered as she cupped her cheeks again. "Well, can't be helped then I suppose, best be off to see to the casino and lounge!" Frankie chuckled to herself before heading in the opposite direction. Lucien was right, it was best to slip back to the profile of a cocktail waitress before people got too suspicious.

She grabbed a couple of trays lined with cocktails upon entering the casino, and began making her way around her usual rounds, or the usual ones she taken the last three weeks at sea~

It’s just a short time at sea.  Lucien walked the remainder of the way to the Lunch Room.  Time standing still for everyone around him as he moved unhindered.  He slid the card key into the reader, before stepping around the corner as an almost too obvious patrol was stuck in place walking down the passage toward his location.  He had stopped time for the black key card after sliding it up into the reader. Once he was out of sight he let time resume for everything but the card key so it wouldn’t fall out onto the ship's floor.  The two men casually walking down the hallway were both wearing the telltale atypical sailor suit which were the staff uniform.  Skippy U’s.

Lucien’s growl was a bit louder than it should have been to keep himself hidden, but it wasn’t the sound of his irritated growl that caught the attention of the guards as they began moving again in real time.  It was the quiet beep and click of the key card reader acknowledging the successful scan of the black key card.  Both guards snapped their heads to the door with no one at it.  Lucien stepped out.

Time froze once again as he moved.  For a brief second his irritation at the ridiculous uniforms, and the by far even more irritating Skippy Shorts he was forced to wear, made him want to scream.  Hell I’ll take it out on Lucius later, he thought as he snickered.  A quick search of the two not so hidden security detail revealed very little else, if they had anything worthy of information or use it wasn’t on their bodies.  He pushed the door open and stepped through pulling the black key card out slipping it into the waistband of his ugh Skippy Shorts closing the door behind him.  After a quick look around the room he let time resume for the ship.  

The two guards quickly reached for the door but found it was closed and locked, shrugging they continued on their patrol as normal looking hands of the ship.  

He stopped dead in his tracks, this was not the head chef he was expecting.  Neither of them were.








CAT FIGHT!  

What?  It’s fitting.

Gods be damned, those fur balls were fast … Everybody was kung-fu fighting. Those cats were fast as lightning… and no we’re not cueing that song.  The Cat Chef flicked his wrist before Lucien could blink, its chef’s knife sword quick as lightning flew through the air cutting the side of his face as he stood nearly motionless.  His quick view of the room turned sour fast, like a pot of piss on the diner table…

Right major buzzkill, now that’s a song to cue.  Maestro… cue the buzzkilla…





Now I can narrate this fight with a good ebb and flow.

The Otterman… Ottoman…?

The Otter Man just as quickly dropped the potato he was peeling and slung his small Dutch Oven up and through  the air, catching Lucien in the opposite arm as he tried to dodge from the Cat Man’s flying blade.  

No time to react in either direction Lucien held his ground taking as little damage from the joint attacks as he could.  A trickle of blood drips down his left cheek.  Both of his eyes shoot down and to the left, as he watches the single drop of blood form and roll down his cheek dripping free and falling from his skin.  His left hand curled up matching the sudden explosive rising of his temper.  The short clipped nails of his left hand burying deep into his palm, despite being cut clean down to the fingertips.  His eyes lit with a sense of anger and rage, Time slowed, time stopped, but not for everything and everyone.  

Just long enough for him to calm his mind, to clear the rage, to focus on his object and the task at hand.  Then everything sped up around him.  Time flew at such an accelerated rate that by the time he reacted, grabbing the Cat’s blade with his right hand while spinning around toward the door he had just come through, snagging the small Dutch Oven with his left hand.  The two cook weapons were already aging into a nearly useless state.  As he completely his spin he released the Cat’s Blade in an over hand throw, following it up with a backhanded throw of the Dutch Oven with his right hand as well.  Having followed through on the first throw completing the motion of his arm until it came to his left hand.  Following it with a reverse swing backward and up.  Both weapons broke free of the time acceleration in less than the blink of an eye.  Splintering into a thousand tiny fragments of rusted and rusting metal.  The Otter Man quick as the Cat Man dodged, but caught the largest chunk of his Dutch Oven as it flew back at him, dropping like a rock in place as he hit the edge of the counter top they had been working at.

Cat Man do…  … Not going there.  This is not a capital kind of thing.  The Cat Man slipped out of the way without so much as a scratch, and grabbed the medallion hanging on his chest.  Rubbing it with his thumb and forefinger it started to glow.  His fur reacted and then his muscles bulked up in response to the medallions charms.  Shaggy long hair, glistening in the bright kitchen lights shrouding the full extent of his buff charm.  His eyes glowed a deep crimson almost full of blood as he barreled straight into Lucien.  Shock lit it’s face as it realized it had made a fatal mistake.  Lucien slid beneath his outstretched fist hooking his arms beneath and around his arm neck and back almost lazily.

Gripping his own wrist Lucien torqued the pressure and tension of his arms to the peak of his strength.  With all of his might he applied pressure to the Cat Man’s neck and throat, in mere moments it slumped in his arms becoming deadweight which he lowered to the ground.  He looked around once more to be sure these were the only two present.  They were at least in this part of the Lunch Room!